We're not in Fresno anymore, Toto!

This morning started out in a way that I'm sure no principal in my former stomping grounds of Fresno has had to contend with. I got a call from Mr. Dunlap first thing this morning that there is a big buck and a doe nestled down on the hill above the middle school campus. Still being a relative newbie to the foothills, Mr. Dunlap and Mrs. Anderson made sure I understood the potential danger of a buck with a doe at this time of year. I've seen enough episodes of "When Animal's Attack" to understand the threat this buck posed here. So what to do? I went to look, and the two of them certainly didn't seem like they were at all worried about me, and had every intention of staying put even as our kids were starting to arrive on campus. I decided my plan was to get the doe to move on, and the buck would surely follow. I started to climb the hill towards her, and she didn't really care about me. I got withing about 10 feet, and she still wasn't even standing up. The buck wasn't standing yet, but I wasn't sure if I got too close to the doe, would he see me as a challenger, and come at me? I started throwing sticks and pine cones to try to get her to move. Finally the doe stood up and so did the buck. The doe then started moving down the fence towards the gate on Twain Harte Drive. It was clear she didn't want to head out that way, and so she turned and headed back towards the corner where they had been resting, Mr. Buck 3 feet behind her at every step. I was able to chase them down out of the corner, and out onto the soccer field. The doe kept looking at the fence like she was going to jump it, but the two large dogs in the yard next to the school made her decide otherwise. She then got down behind the baseball backstop, and was looking for a way out. The buck was in hot pursuit, and it was clear the doe didn't want to head towards him, and kept coming at me instead (I was the lesser of two evils, I suppose). It took much coaxing, throwing things, beating my coat on the fence, and blowing my whistle to finally convince the doe to leave. I'm sure I looked like a fool throwing piles of leaves at her (there wasn't anything else nearby!). When she did decide to go, she ran across the soccer field, down the ramp behind the bathroom, around Black Oak School, and out across the parking lot and over Manzanita Drive. Mrs. Berry was just coming in at that time and was pretty surprised to see the deer. I think she was more surprised to see me in pursuit.

After spending the better part of half an hour with these deer, I was finally back at my desk. For fun, I thought I'd look up my official job description to see where "deer herding" fit. Alas that "other duties as assigned!"